Our lives in this fallen world are filled with our meager attempts to organize ourselves and others with whom we associate. We want to remind others to do things we have asked them to do. We may even plead with them to get it done. When this is done over and over again, even if we say it in different ways, we have become naggers.

“If I've said it once, I've said it 100 times…” we may say to our children. “I talk and talk until I'm blue in the face...” we may say, but still, we think, “The children just aren't listening to me. They just aren't getting it. It seems what I'm saying just goes in one ear and out the other. Am I talking to the wall? What is wrong with them? Why aren't they understanding how important it is that they take care of this? Why don't they get a clue?”

When we are into repetitive and obsessive judgment, or nagging, which we do while exhibiting scowls on our faces, it makes life unpleasant for others, but it also makes life unpleasant for us. Judgment dished out in this manner can cause the one on the receiving end to want to lash back at the one obsessing, but if that one is an authority figure (like a Mom or Dad or a teacher or a boss), the person may just take it in and not “mouth back” verbally. However, often the one on the receiving end of this particularly annoying form of judgment will mutter under his or her breath or think thoughts of vengeance. Since nothing goes unaccounted for, this sets up an almost never-ending cycle of judgment that just keeps on going. (There is the issue of rebelliousness and disobedience when children don't immediately respond by doing as told. In this case, the authority figures should calmly and swiftly discipline the child and move on. Authority means not having to berate or nag.)

Jesus told us that what we think, in our hearts, can be a problem to our lives and, He warns, will have its own effect on us--even if we never physically committed the act. In other words, we may reap something we never dreamed we sowed because our only crime was we thought it.

Mat 5:27 You have heard that it was said to the ancients, "You shall not commit adultery."
Mat 5:28 But I say to you that whoever looks on a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (AMP)

The only cure for judgment is forgiveness. It stops the endless cycle. Those of us who are under the illusion that constant nagging will accomplish something, will want to fall on our faces before the Lord and repent from this. Also review chapter five, “Correction Is of the Holy Spirit” for an explanation of how true correction of others occurs. Those who are on the receiving end of the nagging form of judgment, will want to stop themselves from recycling this sin by immediately giving it to the Lord. Then, He can remove the burden that is being laid on us. If we are receiving this from a hurting brother or sister, we, too, must forgive even as the nagging is issuing forth from their lips. Otherwise, our sinlessness in Christ (because He removes sins), our innocence in Christ (because He makes us as new) is compromised as we reap an adjustment coming our way. Do we forget so quickly that Christ died on the cross so that we might be restored as God created us, no longer in sin, but free at last? If we don't die daily by forgiveness, we have forgotten what Christ has done for us. The consequences of this are, once again, picking up all the sins of mankind where we have left off, and reaping and sowing the weeds of this fallen world. It is such a pity when this happens.

I wonder what a survey concerning the Scribes and Pharisees who were given clear warning from our Lord and Savior, would have revealed. How many of them, do you suppose, immediately changed their attitudes, thinking, “My, yes! I have been a haughty snot, haven't I? I have been walking around with my nose up in the air, actually keeping people from entering into the Kingdom of God. I'm done with this foolish behavior! Jesus is right.” Did Jesus continue to entreat them over and over to listen? Did He nag, threaten or pound the truth into their heads and hearts? Jesus would not stoop to such tactics—He knew that “those with ears to hear” would receive His seed of truth, those whose hearts were hard, would not receive at that time and perhaps they never would. It was the job of the Holy Spirit and God's business what would become of that seed.

Based on how well nagging and judging has worked in our lives, how many do you think would have marked “YES” in the survey under the question, “Would Jesus have convinced you that you need to change if He had nagged, yelled at, or threatened you?” And, truthfully, do we change ourselves or does the Holy Spirit change us as we submit to His will? If the latter is true, then no matter how much we pound on people and criticize them, nothing will happen. Jesus merely came to speak the truth and become the way to salvation. Being God, He knew their hearts, an advantage none of us have.

Since God gave us free will, it is possible for each of us to consistently and repeatedly ignore God's will. What makes us think we can force others to change? Jesus asks us to pray for others, not condemn them for not doing our will. Is this a worthy consideration for Christians, new and old alike? Does our life give us cause to pray for others? And in doing so, are not our own tendencies to control and manipulate brought to the surface for healing by the Holy Spirit? Can we relax our hold on our need to control?

Who do we think we are? A judge? Isn't this God's job? As a child of the living God, could it be that God has shared His attributes with us? Or is judgment something we made up as a result of being kicked out of paradise? Eating of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil sounds like judgment to me. Nagging must be when we keep reaching for the same piece of fruit on that tree, over and over again, even though it has been picked and shared already. It is as if we don't believe our incredibly holy and extremely necessary instruction has been received and, consequently, we obsess on it, not once witnessing our own planks quite literally hanging awkwardly and childishly, out of our own eyes. I speak this way to exaggerate a point. Yet I beg forgiveness for the judgmental sound of it. (See how easily it is done? No wonder Paul said “The very things I don't want to do, I do." Romans 7:15.)

Instead of forgiveness, we in this carnal world would prefer to fix other people our way. We assume we know what the problem is (they are irritations in our lives) and how best to go about fixing this problem (tell them, yell at them, maneuver them, tempt them, irritate them back so we can show them how it feels when the same thing is done to them, be cleverer than them, threaten them, hold something near and dear to them ransom until they stop their obnoxious ways, get down on your knees and beg them to stop doing this, etc.) We must realize we can't really forgive and fix at the same time—otherwise it isn't really true forgiveness. It's forgiveness with a condition. On the tally sheet God keeps, He doesn't mark “forgiveness with a condition” as a forgiveness. He calls it a manipulation and, according to Matthew 7:2, He makes sure to send someone to you who will try to manipulate you. If we truly forgive, then no fixing is necessary by us. We can relax and know that God has got it all under control. We merely pray to Him and thank Him for all that He is doing.

Folks, I write this in love. Even as I write, I recognize I tread on dangerous ground. I can tell you most truthfully, I have no desire to judge because I have no desire to reap judgment. Period. But as God inspires me to write about this, I ask Him to tell you that even now, I love you very much. I do not want to nag you. Let's all follow the Lord into heaven now and cease any practices that hinder our journey.

What would be the result if we all quit nagging? Would this world become so unorganized that we would feel we were in hell? Or, with our own ears more attune to the Holy Spirit, the only TRUE adjuster of the children of God, would there be more joy in this world? Would things get done by the Holy Spirit's inspiration or do we think we must take charge and order everyone to get in line as we hand out the tasks for the day? Would it be better for the child to have a messy room and a joyful and truly loving Mom and Dad or a clean room with a Mom and Dad who were very upset that this wasn't done when they first asked the child to clean it up? Can we love and judge at the same time? Truthfully, I've never seen this is possible in my own life. I am always saddened when I judge and happy when I make the decision to release my critical comment to the Lord.

Obviously, if a child or someone is getting ready to commit an intentional or unintentional dangerous act that involves life or property, it makes sense that we may want to resort to some serious tones of voice, and maybe even a little nagging. But most of the time, the spirit of heaviness, the spirit of judgment is not worth the correction that we are trying to achieve. It causes too much sadness. It causes too much joylessness. We have to weigh in where our hearts reside. If we sense they are heavy, we must go to the Lord and give our burdens to Him, BEFORE we would approach someone with our correction. It is quite possible, the Lord will guide us out of the need for correction at all. He may even put a smile on our faces and show us how we can love, unconditionally, someone we want so much to correct.

No more would we wrest away from the Holy Spirit, His job of correcting us all from the inside. The Holy Spirit knows all aspects of our hearts and, from His all-knowing vantage point, His corrections are administered in the most appropriate and creative ways. God does not stand by idly, waiting for us to correct His children. He is busy correcting us all the time both in our waking and sleeping moments. Of course, God can handle this, because God is God—but why would we want to throw our corrective complications into what He is continually working on? We do nothing but throw wrenches into His wonderfully concise and amazingly smooth corrective work. Often what we do stems from our very limited sight and our very incorrect assumptions. This causes anything we think we must do to correct somebody else to, generally, catapult them and us into further judgment and other fleshly activities.

When we make a decision to back off from this practice, the Voice of God which is becoming easier to hear, says, “Thank you very much! I can handle this, I really can!”

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