Love (as observed in the carnal world) is based on perceptions or appearances. Perceptions are judgments. The party that we fell in "love" with only exists in our minds. To them, we must maintain a certain amount of the ideal qualities they originally saw in us or we will become irritants, thorns in their sides, people they can barely tolerate, or even people they actively hate. Odd, isn't it, that "love" can switch so quickly to "hate." Would God have made love this way? No. And He didn't. But, under the influence of the deceiver, we did.

How did we do such a thing? It all comes down to dwelling in a world where God seems strangely absent, where we have to do things for ourselves (in order to even survive). No longer in the Garden, we have to fend for ourselves. Our eyes, no longer closed in worship to our loving, nurturing God, now have to be kept peeled for prey that might attack us. The world has become a jungle and it has become every man and woman for themselves. What kind of love would develop in a scenario such as this, where we have become so defensive and self-serving?

It would not necessarily be a love that was fully sanctioned by God because, although it would be called love, it would be tainted with carnal world traits of possession, envy, lust for the flesh outside the marriage, despondency, underhandedness, lack of trust, and more. In all fairness to God, we can't really call the carnal relationships we often have in this world, love. They, in fact, are very poor imitations of it. The God-established holy institution of marriage is easily dissolved and many opt to skip entry into it at all, settling instead for a “significant other.”

For our relationships to be filled with God's spirit of love, we must, as usual, give all back to Him. He will take our weak attempts at establishing relationships and as we completely submit to His will, He will infuse them with His power and His glory to make them strong and firm and whole. There will no longer be a hopeless attempt to try to make someone else the way we think they should be. There will no longer be a futile attempt to live our lives in some sort of protective bubble, as we cling desperately to each other, hopefully shielding us from the carnal world's onslaughts, and, consequently, as we try to make a world that secludes us from the problems, Christ's light no longer shines where it is needed.

Relationships that are designed to replace God are destined to fail. We cannot be God to each other. What we can be, however, are living examples of Christ. This is done by, once again, recognizing what is the fruit of the world (Satan) and giving it up to God. We must recognize that we don't want relationships that exclude God because they are extremely possessive, filled with distrust and steeped in fear. Those types of relationships are the result of listening to the wrong guide. Satan's answers to our questions about how to live, do nothing but dig our graves and embed us deeper into the world and its fallen ways.

Jesus overcame the world for us so we must follow Him and His teachings. We must allow His love to increase within us and continue to pray unceasingly and grow dependent only on Him, not on any person. If our relationships are not vibrant with God's love, they have probably become passé. Relationships that have grown “comfortable” can be given a wonderful boost by our Lord and Savior, Jesus. Time spent with Him in prayer is, however, necessary and very rewarding. Not only will it enrich our relationships, but every aspect of our lives.

These are the types of things that happen to love in this carnal world. Our type of love must be changed to agape in order to be saved and who, pray tell, is our Savior? Jesus, of course. If we give our inept attempts of love over to Him, He will radically transform them into acceptable and true expressions of His love. As a couple, you will no longer be struggling to maintain yourselves in a world that attacks and cajoles, twists and turns you, or holds you upside down and shakes you until all the change falls out of your pockets. Such manipulation is devastating to love. It is wonderful to think that with the transformed love of Jesus Christ, you will stand tall in this carnal world, a glowing, vibrant, truly loving couple who recognize their part in God's plan of salvation.

This new couple in Christ are a witness to His love, because they understand it to be all inclusive and they want to share it with a world that may initially reject it (like Christ was rejected). Yet eventually, when the world witnesses your strength which is a strength not of this world and your love, which is a love not of this world, and your firm grip on a peaceful and fulfilling reality (that is not of this world), then those who yearn for what you are offering, will come, open minded and open hearted to you and you will be as Christ is to all of us, a peace and a comfort and a joy to them. You will be a witness to the truth which sets us all free from the strange and confusing and convoluted love the world says is "normal."

God's love is all inclusive. God's love is shared universally and equally among His saved children. It does not separate itself into little splinters of love and decide which person to love and which person to hate. To sum this up, then, carnal love is actually a strange combination of the appearance of love and the appearance of hate which even reverses back and forth in hopeless confusion. Carnal love makes it impossible to know what God's real love, agape love, is by obscuring it in the appearance of love and hate. Oddly, there is a very thin line between the carnal love and hate relationships. Both tend to cover-up God's true love which is the only love that is complete and whole.

Oh, Father, how much we want to give our relationships to you. As our trust in You grows, Lord, we would entrust you completely with what is invaluable to us on this earth, our spouses. We're so glad you gave Your life and took on the burden of our sins. In our continuing acceptance of You, O Lord, wash my mind clean of all appearances of my loved ones so that Your Holy Spirit can help me see them anew. You are first, Lord but in that firm and glorious decision, my relationships are allowed to shine in the Glory of the living God more than they ever have in the past. To You we give all honor and thanks. In Jesus name, Amen.

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