I'm officially and completely dysfunctional in this world!!

Why celebrate that?

Because I have no one to turn to but God. I cannot do this myself. I can't raise Kristina, I can't get my house orderly, I can't do anything but...I feel great...humble about it...on the verge of knowledge not of this world.

I celebrate the recognition that I'm dysfunctional NOW.

I am always dysfunctional. God is forever my function. He makes me functional. I cannot be functional without Him. I AM dysfunctional.

I want to die to self. I've been reading Job and feel compassion for what he is going through.

Job is celebrating his dysfunction. He knows nothing about why these things have occurred to him. I celebrate my dysfunction, knowing nothing about why I'm in my current state. God knows. And he'll tell me what I need to know...in His time, in His way, to His glory.

Today, daily, I recognize I'm dysfunctional. I can't do it. I can't go on. As I go on, it won't be me. I'm tired of me. It has to be Him. He will direct me, guide me, motivate me, move me, surround me with His love and protection. He is everything. It has to be that way. I'm no longer in the picture. I'm no longer making the decisions. I'm no longer at the helm, steering this ship. There are too many rocks and not enough lighthouses for me to handle it. I've got to travel blind. I'm dysfunctional. I've got to have the Lord do this stuff. He is my red tipped walking stick, I'm nowhere without Him.

My heart cries out for Him today. I celebrate my dysfunction because it means I'm not partially relying on Him. But completely. He is the Way the Truth and the Life. No one comes unto the Father but through Him. I need His way, His Truth and His Life NOW. What does it mean, "Come unto the Father"? I want that.  

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